Aussie Assault had achievements. BlogWTF/XserverX servers also do too. So why can’t we?
I can’t remember what the exact achievements were on AussieAssault but they were something like this (question mark means i’m not sure, or i made this title up):

Chuck Norris - Get 100 kills in one life or 1000 kills in one game
S@#$n Injection - Kill a human with a granger barb
Space Invader - Destroy the reactor using a granger, dealing at least 50% damage
Mission Impossible - Get three kills with latency over the connecting limit of the server (sv_maxping) (used to actually seem impossible since Aussie Assault was not lag compensated for most of its up time)
3 in 1 - Kill three enemies in one shotgun blast
2 in 1 - Kill two enemies in one shotgun blast
Terminator - Kill 5 enemies using chaingun without reloading
Pesticide? - Kill 20 enemies using flame thrower without dying
IMA FIRIN MAH LAZOR - Kill 5 enemies using lasgun without letting go of the trigger
Heavy Duty? - Kill 5 enemies in one rifle clip
Cruel ___? - Kill 20 grangers in one game
Zapdos? - Destroy 5 buildables in 1 minute using zap (1.1 zap is weak)
Tank - Take 2000 damage or more in one life?
What were you thinking? - Lose as a stage 3 team to a stage 1 team
?? - Win as stage 1 against a stage 3 team
Saved by the Bell - Have a draw via server timelimit with no spawns remaining
That Tickled - Kill a tyrant with a rifle dealing at least 50% damage
??? - Get killed by a blaster while using a tyrant
Saw God- Kill 20 enemies using a painsaw
Saw Rush? - Win the game by killing at least two eggs and the overmind as well as the remaining players using a painsaw?
wtf? - Kill a teammate while the server has team damage disabled (usually done by tele-fragging, a.k.a. teleporting into a teammate)
What’s Tremulous - End a game with a score of -20 frags
Watch the nuke? - Kill 5 enemies with one grenade
Luci Spammer? - Kill 8 enemies with lucifer cannon in 15 seconds?
??? - Get 7? (or was it 3?) consecutive kills with Mass Driver
Bitten? - Kill a bsuit using a dretch, dealing at least 75% damage
??? - Sniper a human in the head while the human is airborne

I can’t quite remember the rest but there was like 50 or more of them.
Achievments introduce challenges and sometimes earnt accidentally.

And some more ideas:

One for all, All for one - Win in a game, having all the kills (at least 5) of the team of at least 4 players
Leroy Jenkins - Destroy 10 buildables and 3 enemies in 30 seconds before dying
Pregnancy - Get your first human impregnated with a successful birth (Cuboid only)
Impossible to Hit - Kill a tyrant using blaster, dealing at least 20% damage?
Scoreboard Evasion - Use !specme within 2 seconds of losing the game after being the last alive

etc. etc.

This could be fun

Once upon a time, Snake made a ranked mod. Everyone told him it was shit and so he stopped working on it. The end.

Achievements can be fun, they also can be stupid and people can also be obsessed with doing achievements regardless if they are fun or stupid.

Gimmicky achievements are shitty in nature because we’re going to run into the TF2 problem of people doing stupid shit in matches because they’re more concerned about having epeen points. This problem will compound itself over time when we decide to add new achievements to reflect updated content, compelling new players to catch up to those who already have a bunch of them unlocked. We would need to ask ourselves if this is what we’re willing to sacrifice in exchange for achievements.

Of course you can already tell my bias for them, but I recognize that today’s current generation enjoys being able to feel rewarded doing things that fills up a bar. Designing achievements around things “effective” players will do is a better way to incentive players into not disrupting matches. Otherwise people will just sit in idle servers helping each other gain that one little achievement they missed.

I feel that a system that really broke the middleground well was what Halo 3 did by awarding people “badges” that dinged in the side of the screen and didn’t carry over to a permanent global record. They would be shown off at the end of the match and that was it.

I feel that would be a good compromise.

If there are achievements for kills, they should differentiate between alien classes and humans with different armor: killing 5 dretches is not the same as 5 tyrants.
Per match achievements do seem like a good compromise, but also there shouldn’t be any achievements that are easy to get just by focusing on that, e.g. total kills in a match with a specific weapon, or ones that encourage camping.

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